There’s so much I do not know
I grew up reading lots of non-fiction (self-help, autobiographies, and true crime stories). I also took enjoyment in reading books about our psychology and personal growth.
My main interests lied within the field of Science. The majority of classes I took in high school were Biology, Chemistry, Calculus, and Statistics. The Life Sciences was a clear-cut path for which I wanted to pursue after high school.
As much as I’d like to brag about the exceptional performance I had for Science and Maths, it is safe to say I suck(ed) at other things, like Literature, Music, Art, and Sports.
I was not a fully proficient writer until later in junior year. Whereas more than half of my Grade 10 classmates took AP English Literature, I knew I was better off taking regular English. I did not have the proper writing or analytical skills that they had to ace that class, I thought.
The same thing was true for Sports. I made a fool of myself in P.E. class. I was laughed at trying to toss a basketball to another person in my team. I was laughed at as I ambitiously tried to to kick a soccer ball that landed only two meters away from me.
I sucked at Art & Music as well. I had no artistic talent whatsoever. Canvas, paint brushes, acrylics, and crayons to me were test tubes and bunsen burners to a non-science student. They were beyond my scope of use. It would take me weeks to land a piece of art craft worth a C+.
Music was some sort of foreign language I was unable to grasp and become a speaker of. People would probably lose their faith in music were they to hear my voice. I was never skilled at learning musical notes and rhythms, let alone play any instrument.
Even though it seems like I am selling myself short to all the things I cannot do, I am in-fact exposing myself to my ignorance, to the things unkown and incomprehensible to me. I do this for several reasons:
- As a reminder that I will never know enough, that there’s a myriad of other aspects above and behind my scientific scope that exist. I must thus never succumb to a tunnel vision that allows me to see only a piece of the puzzle of life.
- The unknown will always be far greater for me than the known, and that idea in itself ignites within me a continual desire to learn and grow.
- I will never be good at everything. However, I should at least make it a goal to widen my horizon in fields I am not very familiar with, such as the Arts. I will read more fiction. I will learn some poetry. Perhaps it is too late for me to draw and sing, but I can at least appreciate art in museums and learn new music genres.
- There’s so much awe I have yet to experience in the world, and being alive is a great opportunity to explore it.
So no I am not a know-it-all, even when my ego makes me believe I am. I am a part of a bigger universe, and it is just foolish to even think I have but a clue of everything there is out there.
